I Like

1. I like the girl in pink and the one in a red kurta too.
2. I like 619 more than any other number.
3. I like to play with balls, I mean Soccer balls.
4. I like to wake up sleeping M@nU.
5. I like to call her Che2 instead of her real name.
6. I like to defeat Gupta in PES 09.
7. I like calling Mitsy at sharp mid-night.
8. I like to make sarcastic comments on ThukaHuaPaan.
9. I like teaching mathematics to girls.
10. I like stripping off my t-shirt whenever I get the chance.
11. I like to play in the rain and that too bare-chested.
12. I like to walk in the middle of the road with my arms wide open.
13. I like brushing my teeth four times a day.
14. I like to wear black.
15. I like to make racist comments on Harsha.
16. I like to help people get rid of their addiction to FIFA.
17. I like to sing but only in the bathroom.
18. I like to pull Costa’s pony tail.
19. I like to wear formal Indian dresses.
20. I like to listen whatever she is saying.
21. I like to watch Football and F1 on Television.
22. I like to eat six bananas a day.
23. I like to click my own photographs.
24. I like to trouble my sisters.
25. I like to offend teachers.
26. I like to get involved in any bakar session.
27. I like giving chapos and getting chapos.
28. I like to call Pinky a squint.
29. I like to see Manchester United win silverware.
30. I like to defeat Abhijeet Sir in FIFA 08.
31. I like to call Haddu Sir as Haddura.
32. I like to be called as the BEAST.
33. I like the PJ’s on Wipe-in.
34. I like the confidence of Nasaman.
35. I like to take gyaan from Bhaiya.
36. I like to learn Punjaabi from Gulzaar.
37. I like to call pulkit as TCS.
38. I like to abuse Jynja.
39. I like to play cards with my Jiju.
40. I like to cheat and win.
41. I like to write blogs.
42. I like to backstab stingy people.
43. I like to silent my critics.
44. I like Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Emma Roberts, Kristen Stewart and Selena Gomez.
45. I like watching action, suspense, thriller movies.
46. I like to hear sad romantic songs, no matter Hindi or English.
47. I like to give proxies in the class.
48. I like to sleep during lecture.
49. I like to write with my left hand.
50. I like to play guitar.

P.S. :: I like to do many more things that can't be mentioned.

Quote of the Day :: I like the girl in pink, check what you are wearing.......

TechNoGay 711

After being busy for so long working for Chaos, finally, I got the time to write a blog. Although the topic seems a bit hilarious but it is concerned with the problem engulfing me and the Prondi’s (for all those who don’t know what it refers to, an insti lingo for students pursuing Production and Industrial Engineering). They call me by this name. Earlier, I use to take in a good way as jokingly they use to refer me by this name. However, it seems as if these people have made it a habit. So the BEAST, unwillingly, decided to investigate about it and to bring forward the reasons involved.

 

And so it began with the BEAST interrogating (I think confronting would be the right word) the Prondi’s (yes all 31 of them). The various points that came forward have being mentioned below. Go and have a look at them.

 

711 originated from the fact that I joined the institution in 2007 and will leave it in 2011 (if everything goes fine). TechNo was added to my nickname because I am studying in a technical institution and hence, emphasizing on the fact “what a technical institute can do to you”. Though nobody correctly answered from where the word GAY came up, everybody gave reasons which were unconvincing for me. I put forward to you the various reasons:

1. I like the girl in pink, which means I like pink. Do guys like pink??
2.  If I had a choice to choose between Mohit and Akanksha to sit beside me on the first bench, I’ll go with the former.
3. If I had to choose between Neeraj and Akanksha to accompany me for Dinner, I’ll choose him.
4. In a situation where I have to choose between watching a movie with Mitsy and watching a football match with Aditya, I’ll choose the latter (whose gonna miss the ManUtd Chelsea Champions League final).
5. The toe nails of my feet are much bigger than many girls (this is what Akanksha says). The only justification I’ll give for this is that I am lazy enough to cut them.
6. I wear a red colored shirt, which they claim to be pink. (You people are color blind, its red only).
7. My mobile phone is orange colored. (Sony Ericsson W550i was launched in orange only, so no comments).
8. My football studs have a thin patch of pink. (Seriously, I was unaware of this when I bought them).
9. My favorite movie series is the Ocean Series (A movie which have all male stars and negligible female stars).
10. Of all the people I communicate in my college, only one of them is a girl (The only section I am part of has no girls and my branch has only one girl. Am I responsible for this??)

 

P.S :: Through this blog, I intend to request the girls (if any reading this), to help me disprove them.

 

Quote of the Day:: I was about to conquer the world, when the alarm woke me up.

Masakali Masakali

The movie begins with a well picturised scene of a hospital which compels the audience to guess the relationship between the various actors. It is only a couple of scenes later that you realize that Waheeda Rehman was Abhishek’s grandma while Tanvi Azmi was his mom and not that Waheeda playing Abhishek’s mom and Tanvi his sister, something which many predicted.

Jokes apart, now time to get serious. Does anybody know what Dilli 6 refers to? Actually It refers to the six different types of CHAAT, a speciality of the Delhi fooding especially of the Chandni Chowk side. But however, there wasn’t any mention of the six chaat types.

In the movie, the story revolves around the Kaala bandar, as how his presence disupted the peace in this small locality of Old Delhi. However, the poor guy was not even once credited in the entire movie. The first half of the movie was somewhat bearable but the second half was extremely beepiyaap. I wasn’t the only one sleeping in the hall, but a couple dozen more were snorting (as a close source informed)

The movie does talk about six issues troubling the Delhi culture and society (not only Delhi, but the entire nation) ::

1. Delhites are obsessed with Delhi. They wanted to live here, they wanted to die here and in my case, marry a girl from Delhi.

2. The intra-family dispute between two brothers hampering the life of their younger sister.

3. The unity among the people of a locality.

4. The superstitious beliefs and the orthodox caste system that is still prevalent in the country.

5. The communal riots between the various religious sects arising out of nowhere (they want to fight just for the sake of fighting)

6. People believe whatever they hear to be true, without investigating.

If i was to be the critic, i would have given the movie only one star and that too because of the work of A.R Rahman, otherwise the movie was a total flop and was still way behind the earlier Rakyesh Om Prakash Mehra flick , RANG DE BASANTI.

Sonam Kapoor was much better in SAAWARIYA (i had no choicebut to say this) and Abhishek Bachchan’s role was totally useless. The only part i like in the movie, apart from the songs, was explaination GOBAR gave to his justify his act of always picking two one-rupee coins instead of one ten-rupee note,”Agar ek baar yeh note utha liya toh sikke bhi band ho jaayenge (i even won’t get the coins if i picked up the note)”

P.S :: Don’t dare to watch the movie.

Quote of the Day :: A girl laid in a tomb, will soon become a mummy.

Identity Crisis

Just a few more months and I’ll be off my teenage. But, the only question that still haunts me is that who exactly Am I??

For the bloggers I am the BEAST while for the footie and hockey players in my institute I m the GOALIE. Among the civilians, I am famous as the TRAITOR and the Prondis call me as the TECHNICAL BEEP. My family and friends know me as KAKU while the professors call me ZERO SEVEN ZERO ONE THREE THREE (070133). My teachers in school use to call me NITYA’S BROTHER while the teachers at Brilliant Tutorials recognize me as DHAI SAW GRAM (250 g). The neighbors back at home know me as SHOBHAJI’S SON.

 

PV, who is seriously addicted to Shakespeare and his world, calls me MARCUS BRUTUS (perhaps he thinks of himself as JULIUS CAESER and his “best” pal AA as MARC ANTHONY). I ain’t a good ORATOR, nor a good FLIRT and certainly not a RACIST. For the girl in pink, I am an IDIOT and for the one in red kurta, I am MAD and CRAZY. For TCS, I am a PARAPLEGIC and for the ghost, I am strictly INSANE. Few people call me as the FARZEE SCORPIO, many disagree while many people call me FARZEE BANIYA and only a few disagree.

 

Hardly people know my real name. Or I put this way; I haven’t told many people my real name. Perhaps I am too afraid to face this materialistic world and that is the reason, I prefer a clandestine identity. One man, different names. But what is his true identity. A question that is too be answered. And it has to be answered pretty early.

 

P.S.  This is my shortest blog and the most useless too…

Quote of the Day:: I am the barrier you must overcome so that you and I can continue to exist together, even if you hate me.

Few mistakes of 2008

After being accused of cheating during the previous post, the beast has decided to silent his critics. And so it begins…

1. The beast giving his practical file clandestinely to KK which meant he was accused of treachery and was banished by the Civilians.
2. PV and AA getting drunk and uttering the truth, the only reason they have befriended the beast is that he is the only person who can get them into Govind Bhawan (the best hostel of IIT Roorkee) for the next three years.
3. John Terry slipping and missing the penalty which cost Chelsea the UEFA Champions League and a possible FIFA Club World Cup trophy and Jynja thousand bucks (poor guy lost the bet).
4. Pinky’s grades being wrongly entered into the academic database of IIT Roorkee, which meant that the non-deserving Beast gets a branch change.
5. The beast putting on braces on his teeth which meant no football for atleast six months.
6. Real Madrid forward Robinho signing for Manchester City instead of Chelsea, and thus, virtually spoiling his football career (repeating what David Beckham did to himself by signing LA Galaxy).
7. The beast attending Kaleidoscope (the fashion parade of the IIT Delhi fest), which meant no mobile network and the beast losing his only chance of meeting his INSATIABLE (she was finding it difficult to contact me).
8. The beast eating the deadly cassata on his birthday with a few friends that resulted in all getting ill and fun of THOMSO getting spoiled (almost everyone was down with fever or running nose).
9. Timo Glock fumbling at the last corner of the Brazilian GP that allowed Lewis Hamilton to overtake him and beat Felipe Massa for the crown of the F1 Champion by a single point.
10. The beast’s decision to join GANGWARS on facebook and getting seriously addicted to it which meant he spoilt his Solid Mechanics paper and thereby, his CGPA.
11. The beast falling off the stairs and deciding to join the BLOGGER, which meant people have to waste their “precious” time reading crap.
12. The beast not being loyal to his mother and deciding to go to Amritsar for the weekend, a trip which ended with an overnight wait at the Roorkee railway station in the chilly winters. ( Sorry, this one happened in January this year).

P.S. I love you is a must movie to watch.

Quote of the Day :: First you eat, then you beat and then you booze. Come on, Jawahar.

Girls only....

My earlier posts were guy-centric and people started doubting me. Someone has very correctly said “Shak, what the (beep) “. So the beast has decided to write something for the girls too.

TOP TEN REASONS TO DATE AN IITIAN……
1. The world does revolve around us... We pick the coordinate system.
2. Find out what those other buttons on your calculator do.
3. We know how to handle stress and strain in our relationships.
4. Parents will approve.
5. Help with your math homework.
6. Can calculate head pressure.
7. Looks good on a resume.
8. Free body diagrams.
9. High starting salary.
10. Extremely good looking.

TOP TEN REASONS NOT TO DATE AN IITIAN……
1. T-shirt and jeans are their formal dress. Hot dog and a six-pack is their seven-course meal.
2. The only social life known of is to post and talk on the net.
3. Flames like a monster and speaks like a pussycat.
4. Works from 6:30am to 7:30pm daily. No morning kisses and no evening walks.
5. No matter how hard you cry and how loud you yell, he just sits there calmly discussing your emotion in terms of mathematical logic.
6. Only listens to classic rock and Enrique.
7. Touches his car more often than you.
8. Talks in acronyms.
9. Can't leave that damn pencil off his ear for a minute.
10. Will file a divorce if you call him in the middle of debugging.

P.S :: No offence. The author doesn’t aim to hurt the sentiments of anyone.

Quote of the Day :: You can’t spell Geek without EE.

What if an IITian goes for MTV Roadies interview…..

No doubt they’ll clear the GD round (come on, don’t you give me that look), the focus here is what will happen when they face the twin bald duo of Raghu and Rajiv.

 

Why should an IITian be a Roadie??

1.       They have that attitude which a roadie should have.

2.       They believe in team-work.

3.       For them, work (read task) is the ultimate seduction.

4.       They are pretty good in politics.

5.       Most of them are single.

6.       They are manipulative, they know how and when to use the brain.

7.       They are good abusers.

8.       They always have a plan B.

 

Why shouldn’t an IITian be a roadie??

1.       They are the laziest ass on the earth.

2.       They are extremely aggressive.

3.       They drive, but only a bicycle.

4.       They have other useful jobs to do.

5.       They are not dumb.

6.       They are not fitness freaks.

7.       They don’t feel that GAYs are mentally retarded.

8.       They plan and then they work.

 

There are equal numbers of valid reasons for and against the motion. At the end of the day (auditions instead), Raghu and Rajiv will make the final call.

 

P.S. The post does not aim to offend anyone, it just tells the truth.

 

Quote of the Day :: I don’t discriminate between people, it’s just  that I hate a few of them.