My first Sports Blog

Semester is over, vacations have started and the dormant, hibernating beast has finally awakened. Busy working for HAVEINTERN, playing Street Football on facebook, playing with my brute and interning, I thought it’s the right time to bring my first ever sports blog concentrating mainly on the success of MANCHESTER UNITED this season and the IPL-II which ironically, was won the HADDU’s.

 

Paragraph 1: The Red Devils, MANCHESTER UNITED

                The season didn’t start bright for the European Champions as they managed only 2 point in three outings and where lying 17^th in the table. Defeats to rivals like Liverpool, Arsenal and a draw at the Stanford Bridge, worried the fans. Everyone feared the worst ever finish under Sir Alex Ferguson. But suddenly, some sort of spirit evoke in Edwin Van der Sar and he became stubborn and adamant of not conceding a goal and he actually did so for 15 games. Meanwhile, the Red Devils became the Champions of the World, thanks to Wayne Rooney goal. It was Boxing Day, mid-season and Manchester United were at the top of the League Table. New Year started with demolition of Chelsea at Old Trafford and the winning of the LEAGUE CUP final. Suddenly there were back to back defeats in the premier-league (after four years) but it lead to the emergence of Frederico Macheda as the super-sub whose last minute strikes in two games won them those game. While they were looking certain for the third consecutive League title, there was more development on the European front. They became the first English team to beat Porto in Porto, thanks to the 35m strike from Christiano Ronaldo and also brought an end to the unbeaten European run of Arsenal at the Emirates, again Christiano Ronaldo’s brilliant skills and back-heels. Now they face Barcelona in the finals, who qualified thanks to the referee who denied infinite legitimate penalty claims to Chelsea. They eventually won the Premiership on 16^th May at Old Trafford and seek a “Double Double” at Stadio Olympico on the 27^th May.

                Its SHOWTIME on Wednesday, the World Champions MANCHESTER UNITED takes on the newly crowned Spanish Champions BARCELONA to become the first team to successfully defend its European Crown.

 

Paragraph 2: IPL-II 2009 at South Africa

                While football was the need of the hour in Europe, cricket was screaming loud in Africa and Asia. The Indian Premier League was back with more enthusiasm, more thrill, more cheerleaders and more Bollywood celebs. Royal Challengers Bangalore started their campaign brilliantly defeating the last year champions Rajasthan Royals by a huge margin but they started losing again and was back to winning ways. Indian seniors were playing brilliantly, scoring runs at a strike rate of more than 100. Delhi was looking the strong favorite and despite without the Pigeon, they were simply awesome. Misery continued for Kolkata Knight Riders, considered as Manchester United of IPL as they were unable to find the winning combination. They did nothing useful than knocking out Champions Rajasthan Royals and King’s XI Punjab out of the semi-finals. This season of the IPL, saw the revival of eventual winners Deccan Chargers and finalist Royal Challengers Bangalore from their last season’s finish. There was a bottom’s up. RCB managed 7 out of 9 victories under the leadership of Indian legend Anil Kumble enroute to final where they lost to DC by 6 runs. Looking at the stats, the BEAST made certain predictions for the IPL ::

1.  The team jersey colour should be blue, if the team needs higher probability of winning IPL.
2.  The team that will defeat Delhi Daredevils in the semis will be the winner.
3.  Moreover, the team that has a retired Australian player as captain will eventually be the winner.
4.  Apart from the captain, the team should have an Australian all-rounder and a South-African opener.

Hence, if we go by the this year’s bottom’s up approach we can expect Kolkata Knight Riders and Mumbai Indians in the semis but if we look at the above mentioned facts, then Mumbai Indians will win the tournament if ::

1.  Sachin steps down from captaincy.
2.  JP Duminy becomes regular South-African opener.
3.  They buy themselves a retired Australian player and a working Australian all-rounder.

And Kolkata Knight Riders will win if,

1.  They change their team jersey to blue.
2. Ricky Ponting retires from all forms of cricket and SRK hands him the captaincy.
3.  They hire themselves a South-African opener.

Till then, ciao.

 

P.S. That was my first sports blog, you might have found it boring.

 

Quote of the Day :: The dog is the only thing in the world, that loves you more than you love yourself.

We are the Champions....

The top 4 clubs of the Barclays premier league are ::

 4.  Arse-naal FC -- The Gunners, they deserve nothing better than a Stone Cold Steve Austin Stunner....

3.  Chelshit FC -- The Blue, can anyone show me the way to the Loo....

2.  Liverfool FC -- You'll never fart alone, we are always there with you....

1.  Manchester United -- Once a Red, Always a Red, Glory Glory Man Utd....

P.S. I am not a racist, but i hate 4,3 and 2 above.....

Quote of the Day :: A good submission is 20% inspiration, 5% perspiration, and 75% desperation

The Prondi Rap

After being busy working for HAVEINTERN and playing with my brute, I finally got the time to update this “not so common among reader” blog of mine. And so, I write a poem for the Prondi’s to be recited in the similar manner as Roshesh Sarabhai recites his poems.

And so I start::

 

Nasa, he’s the DR 1,

While Kundan is always ready for fun.

Costa, she’s the only girl,

Bhaat, his free kick hardly curls,

Ankush or the Audio-waale Uncle “chips”,

Wanna learn guitar, Bhaiya will give you the tips.

Kaku is a beast, who believes in CHEAT2WIN,

Bihar, is yet to commit a sin.

Gaurav is topper only in his acts,

While Gulzi relies only on facts.

KP, nobody knows where he resides,

Harshvardhan is too broad to hide.

Lucky, he’s a dedicated sportsperson,

Bonta, he’s just two short of threesome.

Harsha, he’s a haddu geek,

And you know what, Pandey is a Bonta freak.

Manoj, he’s shy and simple,

Wipe-in, his forehead has got a pimple,

Gupta, he’s a lady’s man,

Redda, wants to attend the lectures but if only he can.

Madan, he’s different,

Zuba, no-one can figure out what he meant,

JB, he’s a cute little baby,

And Parmar can help you out with a problem, maybe.

TCS, yes he’s my white little friend,

Everyone wonders when Ahuja’s bathless run will end.

Bora, he’s a tiny tot,

Rajveer is someone who’s eternally married to a bot.

Bhola looks cool in his new look,

Prateek’s English will catch you off the hook.

Lalit has got the fastest sprint,

Ohh!! I forgot to mention about the legendary Pinky,

Who’s a GAY and has got a squint.

 

P.S. No offences to anyone, including the legendary Pinky.

 

Quote of the Day:  Life is like a game of poker: If you don't put any in the pot, there won't be any to take out.

 

I Like

1. I like the girl in pink and the one in a red kurta too.
2. I like 619 more than any other number.
3. I like to play with balls, I mean Soccer balls.
4. I like to wake up sleeping M@nU.
5. I like to call her Che2 instead of her real name.
6. I like to defeat Gupta in PES 09.
7. I like calling Mitsy at sharp mid-night.
8. I like to make sarcastic comments on ThukaHuaPaan.
9. I like teaching mathematics to girls.
10. I like stripping off my t-shirt whenever I get the chance.
11. I like to play in the rain and that too bare-chested.
12. I like to walk in the middle of the road with my arms wide open.
13. I like brushing my teeth four times a day.
14. I like to wear black.
15. I like to make racist comments on Harsha.
16. I like to help people get rid of their addiction to FIFA.
17. I like to sing but only in the bathroom.
18. I like to pull Costa’s pony tail.
19. I like to wear formal Indian dresses.
20. I like to listen whatever she is saying.
21. I like to watch Football and F1 on Television.
22. I like to eat six bananas a day.
23. I like to click my own photographs.
24. I like to trouble my sisters.
25. I like to offend teachers.
26. I like to get involved in any bakar session.
27. I like giving chapos and getting chapos.
28. I like to call Pinky a squint.
29. I like to see Manchester United win silverware.
30. I like to defeat Abhijeet Sir in FIFA 08.
31. I like to call Haddu Sir as Haddura.
32. I like to be called as the BEAST.
33. I like the PJ’s on Wipe-in.
34. I like the confidence of Nasaman.
35. I like to take gyaan from Bhaiya.
36. I like to learn Punjaabi from Gulzaar.
37. I like to call pulkit as TCS.
38. I like to abuse Jynja.
39. I like to play cards with my Jiju.
40. I like to cheat and win.
41. I like to write blogs.
42. I like to backstab stingy people.
43. I like to silent my critics.
44. I like Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Emma Roberts, Kristen Stewart and Selena Gomez.
45. I like watching action, suspense, thriller movies.
46. I like to hear sad romantic songs, no matter Hindi or English.
47. I like to give proxies in the class.
48. I like to sleep during lecture.
49. I like to write with my left hand.
50. I like to play guitar.

P.S. :: I like to do many more things that can't be mentioned.

Quote of the Day :: I like the girl in pink, check what you are wearing.......

TechNoGay 711

After being busy for so long working for Chaos, finally, I got the time to write a blog. Although the topic seems a bit hilarious but it is concerned with the problem engulfing me and the Prondi’s (for all those who don’t know what it refers to, an insti lingo for students pursuing Production and Industrial Engineering). They call me by this name. Earlier, I use to take in a good way as jokingly they use to refer me by this name. However, it seems as if these people have made it a habit. So the BEAST, unwillingly, decided to investigate about it and to bring forward the reasons involved.

 

And so it began with the BEAST interrogating (I think confronting would be the right word) the Prondi’s (yes all 31 of them). The various points that came forward have being mentioned below. Go and have a look at them.

 

711 originated from the fact that I joined the institution in 2007 and will leave it in 2011 (if everything goes fine). TechNo was added to my nickname because I am studying in a technical institution and hence, emphasizing on the fact “what a technical institute can do to you”. Though nobody correctly answered from where the word GAY came up, everybody gave reasons which were unconvincing for me. I put forward to you the various reasons:

1. I like the girl in pink, which means I like pink. Do guys like pink??
2.  If I had a choice to choose between Mohit and Akanksha to sit beside me on the first bench, I’ll go with the former.
3. If I had to choose between Neeraj and Akanksha to accompany me for Dinner, I’ll choose him.
4. In a situation where I have to choose between watching a movie with Mitsy and watching a football match with Aditya, I’ll choose the latter (whose gonna miss the ManUtd Chelsea Champions League final).
5. The toe nails of my feet are much bigger than many girls (this is what Akanksha says). The only justification I’ll give for this is that I am lazy enough to cut them.
6. I wear a red colored shirt, which they claim to be pink. (You people are color blind, its red only).
7. My mobile phone is orange colored. (Sony Ericsson W550i was launched in orange only, so no comments).
8. My football studs have a thin patch of pink. (Seriously, I was unaware of this when I bought them).
9. My favorite movie series is the Ocean Series (A movie which have all male stars and negligible female stars).
10. Of all the people I communicate in my college, only one of them is a girl (The only section I am part of has no girls and my branch has only one girl. Am I responsible for this??)

 

P.S :: Through this blog, I intend to request the girls (if any reading this), to help me disprove them.

 

Quote of the Day:: I was about to conquer the world, when the alarm woke me up.

Masakali Masakali

The movie begins with a well picturised scene of a hospital which compels the audience to guess the relationship between the various actors. It is only a couple of scenes later that you realize that Waheeda Rehman was Abhishek’s grandma while Tanvi Azmi was his mom and not that Waheeda playing Abhishek’s mom and Tanvi his sister, something which many predicted.

Jokes apart, now time to get serious. Does anybody know what Dilli 6 refers to? Actually It refers to the six different types of CHAAT, a speciality of the Delhi fooding especially of the Chandni Chowk side. But however, there wasn’t any mention of the six chaat types.

In the movie, the story revolves around the Kaala bandar, as how his presence disupted the peace in this small locality of Old Delhi. However, the poor guy was not even once credited in the entire movie. The first half of the movie was somewhat bearable but the second half was extremely beepiyaap. I wasn’t the only one sleeping in the hall, but a couple dozen more were snorting (as a close source informed)

The movie does talk about six issues troubling the Delhi culture and society (not only Delhi, but the entire nation) ::

1. Delhites are obsessed with Delhi. They wanted to live here, they wanted to die here and in my case, marry a girl from Delhi.

2. The intra-family dispute between two brothers hampering the life of their younger sister.

3. The unity among the people of a locality.

4. The superstitious beliefs and the orthodox caste system that is still prevalent in the country.

5. The communal riots between the various religious sects arising out of nowhere (they want to fight just for the sake of fighting)

6. People believe whatever they hear to be true, without investigating.

If i was to be the critic, i would have given the movie only one star and that too because of the work of A.R Rahman, otherwise the movie was a total flop and was still way behind the earlier Rakyesh Om Prakash Mehra flick , RANG DE BASANTI.

Sonam Kapoor was much better in SAAWARIYA (i had no choicebut to say this) and Abhishek Bachchan’s role was totally useless. The only part i like in the movie, apart from the songs, was explaination GOBAR gave to his justify his act of always picking two one-rupee coins instead of one ten-rupee note,”Agar ek baar yeh note utha liya toh sikke bhi band ho jaayenge (i even won’t get the coins if i picked up the note)”

P.S :: Don’t dare to watch the movie.

Quote of the Day :: A girl laid in a tomb, will soon become a mummy.

Identity Crisis

Just a few more months and I’ll be off my teenage. But, the only question that still haunts me is that who exactly Am I??

For the bloggers I am the BEAST while for the footie and hockey players in my institute I m the GOALIE. Among the civilians, I am famous as the TRAITOR and the Prondis call me as the TECHNICAL BEEP. My family and friends know me as KAKU while the professors call me ZERO SEVEN ZERO ONE THREE THREE (070133). My teachers in school use to call me NITYA’S BROTHER while the teachers at Brilliant Tutorials recognize me as DHAI SAW GRAM (250 g). The neighbors back at home know me as SHOBHAJI’S SON.

 

PV, who is seriously addicted to Shakespeare and his world, calls me MARCUS BRUTUS (perhaps he thinks of himself as JULIUS CAESER and his “best” pal AA as MARC ANTHONY). I ain’t a good ORATOR, nor a good FLIRT and certainly not a RACIST. For the girl in pink, I am an IDIOT and for the one in red kurta, I am MAD and CRAZY. For TCS, I am a PARAPLEGIC and for the ghost, I am strictly INSANE. Few people call me as the FARZEE SCORPIO, many disagree while many people call me FARZEE BANIYA and only a few disagree.

 

Hardly people know my real name. Or I put this way; I haven’t told many people my real name. Perhaps I am too afraid to face this materialistic world and that is the reason, I prefer a clandestine identity. One man, different names. But what is his true identity. A question that is too be answered. And it has to be answered pretty early.

 

P.S.  This is my shortest blog and the most useless too…

Quote of the Day:: I am the barrier you must overcome so that you and I can continue to exist together, even if you hate me.